Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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