I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
