no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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