We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
