i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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