i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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