Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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