I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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