Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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