I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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