I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well I just put wine in my tea
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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