Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i now understand why vodka
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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