My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish you could order shots online.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
