Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
