Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
