Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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