Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
smell my finger.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
