Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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