good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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