Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
