That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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