i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
