Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its about making memories worth repressing
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
