tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
