Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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