I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
