Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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