I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
sex in a hospital.. check
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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