So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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