Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
