come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
