y did u give ur computer a hand job?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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