So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize