i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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