And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
