Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
