Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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