We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
