that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Welp...herpes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
