You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
