my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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