At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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