Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
