billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize