A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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