I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
