You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
