remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize