he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
