grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
