Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
