hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
