so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
