so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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