you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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