Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
