My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
