There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
