so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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