is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
