I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
