No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize