I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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