remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize